So, it's just over an hour after the Safe In Our World Mental Health Game Dev Champions 2024 ended. So far in under 12 hours, I've had

• 8 panic attacks
• Easily 200 or so Unity 6 Editor crashes
• Really.... dark depression and headspace. Seriously if you've never had that kind of depression, you're lucky.
• 6 or 7 really soul-draining crying sessions
• 1-hour nap of f*ck it all because you're just a screw-up anyways

Now I am in a completely different mindset. I believe in this project too much and the message it is trying to give. It probably is because the entire game is very personal since it is based on real-life events that happened to me. Thus I built the game as it was at the time the submission to the game jam was due. I started the build of the game before the deadline passed, however, it wasn't completed until like 30 minutes later. So for my sanity and to be fair and truthful, I've published its broken form for all who care to see, hence: the Game Jam Edition.

Does that mean the development is completed? No, I planned to only have 2 "levels" in the game for the game jam. However, there are several more in my head and written out over several Google docs to continue the storyline. I will continue to work on this because I need to the message out there. Again the title of the game says everything. This project is not about me. It's about the whole idea that we get so stuck in our minds that all the bad things that happen are due to some fault or action of our own. 

A change of perspective or information that you did not have during the event could very well have changed the entire outcome. It's not about you. When you take a step back and revisit traumatic events, you can see that it was not your fault. Yes, you played a role in that event. I ask you though to take in everything in full context. Information of something you didn't have at the time. Or other events happening around you that you were unaware. Adding all of it together,  you'll suddenly be able to forgive yourself and grow stronger from the experience. This entire game jam was proof and a reminder to myself.  A year ago I would have deleted and wiped from the internet any traces of the effort. 4 months of hard work would have just vanished. No, I can't do that anymore. No one should wipe their work or past away like it didn't happen because of shame or guilt. I acknowledged it did and I've grown from it. I didn't finish in time for the game jam. I won a lot more.

Demons of self-doubt  - 94387492849...
Me - 6