My archnemisis has been playing Assassin's Creed in my head and taking out all the happy and productive hormones. 

So remember my last post? Well... guess what? I FAILED.

For a game jam about making a game that deals with mental health, it sure sent me into a depression just now. All the evil demons in your head scream at you over and over and over again.

"You are never good enough!"
"You'll never do anything right!"
"You think you can do it but fail every time!"
"Who are you kidding, no one would have liked your game anyway..."

Reader Warning: Incoming Emotional Teary Rant

I went from being in such a happy place two weeks ago. Everything was going to plan. Major progress was being made in the game. That accomplishment was doing amazing things for my emotional and mental health. I was freely laughing again. Bouncing in my chair sheer joy I haven't done in who knows how long now... Who am I kidding here? 

Tech Problems

This entire past week I have been dealing with crash after crash after crash. First, it was the "Waiting for scene to finish updating" dialog boxes that kept popping up. Then just flat-out editor crashes begging me to submit the .dmp file of the editor to support. Sorry, but I've done that before and it wouldn't have helped my current situation or tight deadline. Besides you would have gotten over 1000 of the same one by now. For something that is being marketed as "Improved stability, performance, and support" in Unity's new version 6... Sorry but no... 

Side note: I actually love the new version. I'm just emotional.

The Real Issue

While I am annoyed by the numerous crashes, that's not the real issue. My archnemisis has been playing Assassin's Creed in my head and taking out all the happy and productive hormones. Until I have done what I always do and fulfilled my own sabotaging prophecy

You'll never fail or disappoint someone if you never submit it

I do it with doctor's appointments. I do it with home improvement projects. I do it with other game jams. It's 7:42 pm right now in my time zone. The game submission is do under 20 minutes. I can't even feel the courage to submit this blog post because why? 

</End Mental Spiral of Self-Criticism>

I'm going to see if I can complete a build and submit it anyway. I want to complete this project it means so much to me. It will never get completed if I never show it to the world. So here is me doing my beginner career in game dev:

Debug.Log("Hello, World");